#but im still pissed off for whatever reason
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what are some actions tyler/narrator would do that conveys "I love you" without them actually saying it
man this hurts me. why are you making me think about this (their lack of communication) sniffs...hmm
well for a start, i think the narrators love language is acts of service (this is so fucking difficult im wincing just thinking about it) and i think hes a very self centered guy (not necessarily on purpose, just mostly gets lost in himself and his thoughts) so i feel like intentionally going out of his way to make and prepare shit for another person is like. a completely insane thing for him
besides making tylers coffee how he likes it, adjusting his clothes and keeping the house somewhat liveable in i think the main thing is just the fact he listens. half the time he doesnt understand what the fuck tylers talking about but hes intrigued . he could talk about literally anything and he would indulge him with a smile on his face. maybe not always because he cares, its more about him trying to appeal more to tyler (and its working. tyler wants nothing more than some other freak adding onto his bullshit) boy has a thirst for knowledge and he has a hunk providing him with it in a trivia-esque manner.theyre both so fucking into it
ehmm this isnt showing love per se and i dont think hes ever given any to tyler but i do think hes written love poems/haikus about him. thinly veiled so if you read them you wouldnt really know if it was a personal thing or a metaphor for something else. cryptic in a way thats basically just the narrator projecting his feelings towards tyler on random objects or (more normalized) pairings
as for tyler im not reaaally sure? i dont think hes obsessed with the narrator in the way the narrator is with him, and i view him as aromantic to a degree so his bond with the narrator is more sexual & platonic rather than romantic (but he has his moments)
he has no issues being handsy or in somebodys space, hell he would be gripping somebodys hand real hard even if they just met but thats more about the fact he just gets off on pissing people off and making them uncomfortable. its also like that with the narrator with the addition that he just likes doing it because hes so easy to wrap & push around without any protest really. i think he also does that thing where he puts his hand on/wraps it around his nape when theyre next to each other. dog&owner motif if you squint
tylers whole extreme anti-capitalist shtick falls apart a bit with the narrator. in the book he takes him out to dinner. even the narrator was shitting bricks when this happened, tyler spending money on him seemed unfathomable (yes it was to shut him up or whatever, but still nonetheless insane) and i think its. whatever your view on romance is i think its sweet hes still willing to go against his morals just to have a cheesy moment with the narrator. carnivals. stores. trips. he would
i think he also calls him while hes at work . seemingly without a reason --hes bored for the most part, and he knows what hes doing for obvious reasons but. dare i say he misses him a twinge, since during work days the narrators home at like 5pm and tyler sleeps through the morning (that deleted scene of him rolling his eyes at the narrator for going to work.... theyre both so bad they both suck. horrible)
euhhghh...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeughh oh god theyre so gross im going to be sick
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ok my brother made me cut it short because he cant just play on his phone ig. also that was a sensory nightmare i have like a 6% chance of killing the next person that talks to me
#this suit is way too loose and short the water is making my thighs itchy when i kick and my snorkel is giving me a tension headache#and the pool is full of little kids. augh#and i feel like. slightly weaker at swimming which youd think would be an obvious result of pool closed for 3 weeks#but im still pissed off for whatever reason#its ok tho i still got to swim 👍👍
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having like. objectively a godawful shitty fucking no good very bad day can u guys send asks
#absolutely everything is falling apart at work today#and while im trying to keep the place from catching fire stuff in my regular life starts blowing up too#and long story short im fuckin. out $50 now bc of shit i couldnt control#and im on my period. and i dont have pads bc why am i still getting my period on t for the love of GOD#and i have a stupid. obligation i agreed to w my parents tomorrow that i totally forgot abt until now#but after today i just wanna go home and pass out for 48 hours straight its the only way ill recover from today#and also a lot of weed but thats neither here nor there#not to mention the one moment i have to check my socials i go on tumblr and see ppl falling for and agreeing w thinly veiled transphobia#which is the whole reason i wanted to be on this site less in the first place but i was on such a good streak of not seeing it#and the one day im already in a bad mood. god#i know its rich complaining abt tumblr on tumblr lol but. listen man whatever lmao#my point is i desperately need to be distracted rn bc im just . thru the roof stressed and pissed off rn#juno.txt
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#my mom said no more eras for me 👍😀👍#she said my car needs work before it drives that far#and its too expensive#which is is like. FINE. whats worse js#i should've just taken my damn self yesterday or today#if my car broke down at least i wouldve tried#but i dont think it would . but whatever#the onky reasons i didn't was i let my mom take her sweet time thinking abkut Toronto abd getting my hopes jp#and. the anxiety. i let my stupid anxiety stkp me from living my life again#im a GROWN ASS WOMAN WITH MONEY AND A CAR. I DONT NEED MY MOM'S PERMISSION TO GO ON A ROAD TRIP#i just gkt ANXIOUS.#and i would still go tomorrow but the prices are now more than what i have to my name!!!!!!!#i COULD have just gone yesterday or today. and i didn't. bc i have stupid nervous bitch disorder#and it holds me back so much all tbe time and its PISSING ME OFF#why cant i just have a normal person life#im really not seeing eras again#and its really ending#which i think is hitting me now for the first time#and i love Taylor swift so much. and ill probably never be abke to see her tour again bc the whole world decided to like her too#im literally crying harder than i have in a long long long time . it wont stop ahah lol#i cant breathe bahahahahahha#i turned on tsom and its not helping ahahahahhaha#i hate myself i hate my life
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I can't think of anything that could kill a generative ai system faster than letting it pull from blogs on here, its going to be fed so many erroneous callouts and pointless discourse posts that its gonna generate a way to speedrun offing itself
#jay talkin#im making jokes but fucking hell the internet sucks nowadays#i love witnessing the rot in real time (<--said extremely mentally healthily haha u can trust)#im listening to monkey wrench on repeat. feeling normal#i mean hey yr shits already been jacked by ai if it was gonna be. sorry. it woulda happened like last year at its peak#sites being more open abt it now and adding opt out toggles dont mean its just suddenly gonna start happening#believe me they were all already trawled by little ai fucknuts already. sucks but its the truth#ai bros notably do not care abt legality they have already trawled every site. all u can do is fight back best u can#damage has been done. dont fall into despair via scaremongering and doom posting#do what u can to protect yrself and yr shit snd spread info on how to do that#glaze yr art if yr an artist. opt out of shit when u can. its fucking rough out here#ai is p solely focused on ripping off whatever is most marketable or 'realistic' bc it is a capitalist leach#and nobody involved in it has a soul enough to recognise art if it spat in their face#it fucking sucks that we're still dealing w it but i promise u this capitalist mass-market tendency#is gonna end up w it poisoning itself w its own shite imagery to the point of death so#it WILL fuck off eventually. hold on w the hope of that ok. n protect yr shit. alright#oh and dont share any info u wldnt want stolen but u shldnt be doing that anyway for internet safety reasons#love u all my artists in arms i hope ai dies sooner rather than later and i hope u get to piss on its corpse#love the lawsuit speedruns this place is pulling lately. yall hadnt had yr fill last week huh
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i fully understand people being upset about the klaus getting sex trafficked thing & i don't want to excuse that plot line or anything else going on in s4 because it's sure ... not what i wanted (although i don't have high expectations for tuatv in general) but i feel like some are missing that it's just. lifted straight from the comics. that happens in the comics. almost beat for beat. the show has a very different tone from the comic and that's part of what makes it so jarring! but there's a - very flimsy - reason for including that specific plot line (other than needing klaus off doing something because for some reason tuatv is obsessed with making him irrelevant to the plot). yeah anyway
#tua spoilers#tua negativity#tua s4 spoilers#i dont want to main tag this for obvious incoherent rambling reasons but i feel like i need to tag this for blacklist purposes so if u c#this post sorry#it was this or putting my unwanted comments on someone elses post#also it pisses me off how w each season passing his relapses just become more of a joke. like that funky little liquor store scene set to#good music in s2 was still treated much better than whatever happened in s4#watever @ the end of the day its easier 4 me cuz i rly just c tuatv as. bonus content#so like. sorry every1 who was actually invested in this !! im#so sorry abt ur disappointment /gen
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Nvm guys im going to explode again (<voltrix when they mention electro and shocker once.)
#from my last reblog#and yeah i like the idea of shocker calling electro 'pardner' (im not in tears what)#and yeah i think he also calls electro 'sparks' and electro calls him 'monty' sometimes#but also when electro gets pissed off or just serious (<happens a lot in their distancing arc) he'd call him 'brice' instead#doesnt use his real first name despite knowing both as a sign of how he stills hold shocker at arm's length and fearing more closness due#to fearing betrayal#and also becuase i cant take the name jackson seriously for some reason#whatever uhhhh i hate theze 2 btw btw btw (im exploding )#voltrix rambles
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i just want school to be over already. im so burnt out from everything. i worked full time over spring break and have a speech due the first day back and i couldnt even enjoy the break bc ive just been stressed about it the whole time. then 2 papers due next month and finals coming up. juggling school, work, and family/friends feels impossible. like, you just cant give 100% to all while still giving 100% to yourself and it takes its toll after awhile.
#second semester senioritis is no joke </3#i already have all the credits i need to graduate but my speech class is the one important one#like im taking it now so i wont have to take it in Real College#and missing a speech would = failing#and i already got a 75 on one of them which still pisses me off#bc i didnt realize that the video didnt attach bc my father almost DIED and was in the hospital so i wasnt checking canvas for a few days#the only reason she even took it was bc youtube had the timestamp of when it was posted#still took late points off but whatever#anyways sorry to get so real and personal on the silly little mermaid blog but i just need to get it out and im also procrastinating writin#this speech lol#and i think i lowkey have a phone addiction??#soo#i really need to get my shit together#but theres no time!!!#god and im so tired all the time bc i get home late for working then wake up early for school :(#im like a sim whose fun meter is red#cleo-serotonin lore#vent#i just have 0 motivation#anxiety fuels me#oh and this burnt out feeling is really concerning me for when i get to Real College#bc if im already feeling this way now;; how am i gonna feel when the classes are even harder and i have to take more of them?#if i had a passion or even knew what i wanted to study it wouldnt be an issue#but alas#mermaid isnt a major
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Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,
I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.
#speculation nation#this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off.#to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one#but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time.#my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here.#the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years#my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most.#im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession.#it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous.#but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole.#maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth.#that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing.#idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death#to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole?#i dont fucking think so!#yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight#even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death#whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life.#it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!!#and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this#bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about.#but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger...#and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol#anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes.#but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen...#negative/#i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.
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i came to the conclusion that i will, at some point, come out to my mother. i will even tell her that my birth name is not my name, and that hearing it actively makes me upset enough to start causing thoughts of suicide/self-harm.
but i also know that she told my sister during a “hypothetical” question my sister asked her, that if she were to come out as trans and ask our mother to use her new name and pronouns, our mother said that it would be “too hard” and that she wouldn’t even try.
so i’ll tell her im trans. and i will tell her my birth name causes these thoughts. but i’m not going to tell her my name. because she wouldn’t use it anyway, she wouldn’t even try to use it, she had explicitly said so. so she can use the name that gives me these thoughts, and that name alone. she doesn’t deserve my name if she won’t use it.
#i don't think i'll come out to her any time super soon#mostly bc i've got all these other issues to worry about#but#my mother always thinks she's in the right#and 'oh but it'd be so hard cus i've known you with x name for 20-whatever years' is an excuse to be transphobic#and i've already heard 'you ARE still a girl /right/?' too many fucking times#so i already know that. as much as she likes to pretend to be an ally. she isn't.#she doesn't give a fuck about trans people in reality#and she will be pissed off and annoyed when i come out im sure#but that's her own fucking problem#anyways#add this to reasons i should be allowed to listen to music at work#i don't need 8.5 hours a night with my thoughts#shh ac
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"hey HEY what do you have in your mouth!!! sit SIT. SPIT IT OUT GIVE IT—" but instead of talking to a dog it's me about my parents using the word overstimulated as nothing but another way to make fun of our anxious traumatized dog for doing things they find inconvenient or unreasonable or illogical (and, by extension, everyone who uses the term for legitimate reasons). (WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM!!!!!!!!!! AND ALSO WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY HEAR IT BECAUSE I DON'T USE IT AROUND THEM On Purpose BECAUSE I KNOW THEY'D BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
#cannot stress enough that they are ill informed. they do not know what they're talking about and would not accept it if i told them#they're not accomodating to sensory needs and do not fucking know the context of capital o Overstimulation in regards to like. ppl with#sensory difficulties. like. c'mon man. if i told you i was overstimulated you'd tell me it wasn't that bad and i should just sit still and#shut up. but suddenly it's fine when you're making jokes about??? completely unrelated things??? i mean. dogs can probably be#overstimulated. i think everyone can in kind of a general sense. but they act like her getting up from the couch or smth is some frantic#strange action. they're super fucking weird about her actually they'll like. tease(?) her about how needy and pathetic and unloved she is#and how 'traumatized' she is and how that makes her act in ways that bother them in kind of an eye roll-y way which like.#SHE *IS* TRAUMATIZED. WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT SHE HAS REASON TO ACT LIKE THIS#like 'haha she's soooo afraid we'll abandon her she's so ridiculous' what like how she was ditched as a puppy and lived on the streets for#like a year? you don't think that could've affected her at all#fucking psych major bullshit ass. 'formative experiences actually don't affect you lol' go fuck yourself#im not saying you can't tease your pets but they're treating her like her anxiety and even basic affection seeking is some huge burden#when it's absolutely not. they just want to be mean to her because they don't want her to act that way and don't care about how she feels#because they think they know better and she has no immediate reason to feel that way. god i wonder if THAT has any relevance to how they#raised their children. christ on a cracker man what the fuck#how to create an environment where your children feel safe expressing their problems (a goal they supposedly have):#1) not whatever this shit is. what the fuck is wrong with you#look maybe it doesn't sound that bad but it's been going on for years and it's been pissing me off for years. they're so cruel and for what#it's such a double standard. our other (male) dog seeks affection about as often and they don't ever make fun of him for it#and they've gotten more and more entitled about her showing affection. like it's commanded now. it's gross to me okay i don't like it#she's a sweet and kind and loving girl and i don't get why they feel the need to act like her wanting their love is so horrible when they#literally want that from her and scold her when she doesn't do it#this general attitude that ppl are over exaggerating their trauma or their feelings or their needs/wants/boundaries is so pervasive w them#that complete disregard for/invalidation of how others feel if you can't personally relate to or understand it. the mockery and cruelty#they wouldn't do it if she could understand them. i think they just like having that power over smth small that loves them#so *i* have to be like 'ohhh i love u ur so good!! im so happy ur here' to her to balance it and then thats also seen as ridiculous. wtf#skrunks' parents be considerate and introspective to ppl without risk of rejection if unkind & also don't be ableist challenge (impossible)#they will call low/no empathy ppl frightening monsters and then do this shit. empathy is not necessary for kindness and frankly if that's#your only reason to care about the wellbeing of others i think that's worse. bitch IM low empathy. at least i give a shit#im so glad my mom didnt puruse psychology after her bachelor's she woulda hurt so many people. or maybe she'd be better idk. fucks sake
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LOSING IT !!!!!!!! but at least i got the critters 🐟🦐🐌🐜
#stream#ALSKALSLALALLAKLAKSLAKSLAKSLSKS#like#still not allowed to have pets in here but the whole ant thing put together is 20cm#20cm x 20cm (not exactly but it pisses me off so much that a 5x5cm square is missing from it after i did all the math but also i don’t rly#care very much when i look at it in 3d bc that 10x15 block is going to be the only 1 w 2 layers & it’s on the outside of the 15x15square#that’s been formed#but also i’ve never had ants so that’s exciting i’ve always been curious - i think we had them when we were very very young but we weren’t#allowed to get them after idk like starting elementary school#which is fine i guess looking back on it but i can see why im doing it now bc im constantly trying to chase the feeling of nostalgia bc for#whatever reason smells of things gone that i’ve not u know known the name of at the time become known & i remember that smell bc i had#remembered smelling it but sometimes i still don’t know the smell bc it’s just phantom bc im insanely normal like super normal & get those#smells more than a bit frequently like i can smell people thru a phone like ppl i don’t even know
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i fear im gonna have to start fucking killing people
#finally scheduled a doctors appointment like a week ago which is at the beginning of july and ive been trying to get a refill on my T#cause if you have an appt theyre supposed to give me my fucking meds so i can make it to the appt without going off T#but ive already not been taking T for the past 2 weeks cause im out of doses and theyre being confusing as fuck and not giving me my t#and im just fucking wondering whether theyre gonna give me it before my appointment or not but they keep beating around the fucking bush#telling me (simultaneously) that its pended/denied/accepted/filled/expired/etc LIKE HELLO???? ARE YOU FUCKING GIVING IT TO ME OR NOT???#JUST GIVE ME ONE CLEAR PIECE OF INFORMATION PLEASE GOD JUST ONE FUCKING DIRECT COMMUNICATION I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHERE IM AT#like if you guys keep dicking around im gonna miss it for another week! and if you guys are fucking cunts like i think you might be#then im gonna be off t for another 4 fucking weeks. on top of the 2 weeks ive already been off it.halting my transition for no fucking poin#forcing me to go thru mood swings and shit for no fucking reason. if my period comes back im actually gonna start killing.#6 weeks off t it easily could come back! and then how long will it take for me to kill my period again? how many months?#this is just making me fucking pissed like theyre being so obtuse and fucking idiotic frankly. either reject my refill or dont.#stop making me fucking guess. like cause if i have to wait 4 weeks then whatever. it is what it is ill still be pissed#but im more pissed rn that theyre jerking my ass around giving me conflicting information getting my hopes up and shit when im pretty sure#theyre just gonna reject it in the end.#AND DURING PRIDE MONTH...#anyways guess im gonna try to rummage up an injection out of my old vials cause thats my only fucking hope rn... healthcare industry kys
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honestly so tired of my mom never fucking listening to me
#the nugget speaks#long tags#its like she just assumes whatever she wants and cuts me off#and doesnt let me explain myself#no mom im NOT mad at you for being poor cause im a greedy bitch#im mad that you offer to buy me a phone and then get mad at me later when i tell you what phone i want#and you get upset that its too expensive#when you never told me you dont physically have that much money#like fr tho why is this my fault#you were the idiot assuming i could still get a reasonable phone for $100#sorry that the cheapest thing out there that isnt a pos is like $600 before sales#even with that being 200 off for black friday#400 is apparently still way too much for her#and yeah i get it thats a lot of money for me too#but i didnt realize you meant you dont even have that much#why are you offering to get me a new phone then gd#so fucking pissed
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Every time Bruce pisses one of his kids off, they dramatically proclaim something along the lines of, “I hate you! Im going to stay with mom!!!” and then run off.
The first time it happens, Bruce nearly pisses himself because he takes it as some sort of suicidal ideation thing. He tries to go after whichever kid started this, probably Dick, but is unable to find them for whatever reason. He decides to look as Batman. Bruce absolutely sick with worry.
Selina Kyle put his kid in a catsuit.
As time goes on, more of his kids pull this little stunt and Bruce is a little less concerned. Every so often Catwoman is seen with her sidekick ‘Stray’ but every time Stray is makes an appearance they have a wildly different gender, height, and body type. It always the same costume design but in different sizes
Even Cass participated once! Bruce just sighed deeply and looked vaguely regretful. The only one who hadnt made an appearance as Stray had been Damian. Bruce really couldnt imagine Damian running off to be Stray. The kid still had his birth mother so there was no reason to.. become… stray…
Damian shows up as Stray. Instead of his sibling’s preferred stolen objects as a trophy? Selina let him keep a cat. The worst part? The cat’s name is Selina.
Jason as stray
#bruce wayne#batman#dc#batfam#selina kyle#they are goofballs your honor#richard grayson#dick grayson#tim drake#jason todd#damian wayne#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#catwoman#fic prompt#if someone elaborated thatd be cool#or if theres already a fic#guys please#bruce wayne has so many grey hairs
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(screaming)(crying)(banging my head into the wall)(kicking my feet)
#vent#dont rb#i feel so. so. UGHAGRHHHHGH#UGH !#i keep feeling conflicted about liking him. like yes i do love him but also like. 2020-2021 was fucking hard man. it hurt a lot.#i wanna get over it cause like hes already apologized for it multiple times and knows what he did wasnt right and stuff but. ughhhhhh#AND hes still doing it but to someone else that pisses me off#idk and it feels like im betraying liz almost? she was host during that time and got hit the hardest#its like. after all she went thru now im here trying to fucking date him ?#like what the hell is wrong with me ? dont i remember all the times i cried over him ?#not even like normal crying over a boy whatever that means i thought he was dead. he was dead ok?#he was dead and i was dead and for SOME FUCKING REASON. despite being the only real people. he wouldnt talk to me.#anyhow. i still feel bad sometimes about all that happened#i really did think i was over it but i guess i was just anp moment-ing it (avoiding it -_-)#it still hurts :(
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